Day Eighteen: Bailing Out Buffoons

One space for me. One space for my asshole.

Today as I was making my approximately 47 minute commute home from work - most of which was spent crawling at 19 miles per hour behind a Cadillac Escalade - it occurred to me that I don't necessarily feel that it's fair to pay for the US auto industry's mistakes.

Of course, by now, anyone with access to a radio or television should be familiar with all of the arguments supporting an economic bailout for the "Big Three." According to economic experts, "Higher car prices, the end of incentives and vehicle shortages could occur if GM and other Big Three automakers don't get bailout.." I understand this and also realize the human toll - an estimated loss of 2.5 million jobs by those who are paid directly or indirectly by a robust auto industry. But, like many others, I also see a great deal of stupidity linked to the current situation in Detroit.

For years now, the Big Three have ignored calls to discontinue their love affair with the tacky, gluttonous, gas-guzzling SUVs and big dumb trucks that currently clog up American roadways. In the 1980s and 90s, US automakers were concerned primarily with manufacturing cars (remember them?) Since the late 90s, however, they've been more and more obsessed with hoisting inefficient behemoths upon the American public. In fact, in 2006, 70 to 75% of Ford's production was SUVs and trucks. Anyone with half a brain could have seen that this couldn't sustain itself. High gasoline prices are and will be the death knell of the SUV culture. But instead of gradually weaning us off of these monsters, the Big Three greedily squeezed as much blood from the stone as they could.

Further, American cars have had a justifiably bad reputation for decades now. I don't know about you but I certainly don't buy American-made automobiles, and when my faithful, gently-used Camry finally gives up on me, I intend to replace with with another Toyota Camry. Foreign, specifically Japanese, automakers have been running circles around American brands with regard to dependability and owner loyalty since the mid 80s. If one thinks of a lemon, one almost invariably thinks of an American car. Instead of choosing to address this head on, and making cars that matter, the Big Three, in their self-satisfied conceit, continued to churn out an inferior product. They figured that Americans wouldn't choose foreign products over their own. They were wrong.

Many critics are blaming unions for this mess. They feel that auto companies have been capitulating to unreasonable union demands over the years, leading to complacency and bloated contracts. While this may help explain why the Big Three can't dramatically cut production costs, it doesn't explain why such shitty ideas and products keep rolling down from the top. Unions aren't responsible for the creative and productive missteps that Ford, Chrysler and GM have taken for the last decade. This is more of an issue of poor management than it is of union bullying.

So here we sit. On the verge of a depression. Stuck between the almost equally terrible decisions to bail out the imbecilic US auto companies or to allow them to collapse under the weight of their own horrible judgment. My feeling is that no matter the decision, we're all going to end up getting the raw end of the deal. Given the current state of the economy, and my own precarious employment, I find it somewhat ironic that these thoughts came to mind during a commute that I might no longer have to take.

Blaxplanation Disclaimer: We - the American consumer - are to blame as well. I read recently that with gas prices on the decline, sales for SUVs and trucks are back on the rise. We've learned nothing, and part of me believes that we deserve what we're going to get.

Day Eleven: All Apologies

I'm not a bad man.

At least I'd like to think not (granted, usually if you have to begin sentence with a character defense you're fighting a losing battle). Often, I can even fool myself into believing that I'm actually a really good person. But, like most, I've certainly caused my fair share of harm and I've got some apologizing to do. To that end, I offer my sincerest apologies, without reservation, to the following people who, to one degree or another, I've offended during my slow lurch toward maturity.

• My mother - For being reckless, ill-mannered and slow to learn
• My father - For legacy, and for perpetuating some of your more regrettable habits
• My sister - For failing to jettison the sibling rivalry mentality in a more timely fashion
• My spouse - For the last nine years (including Sunday)
• My older son - For not being more involved in your life
• My younger son - For not being as good a parent as your mother
• Mrs. Rivers - For not becoming a physician
• Mrs. Mask - For not becoming a writer
• That sister who I turned down at the Summer Camp dance - For projecting my insecurities onto you
• My older son's mom - For not walking away sooner
• My high school sweetheart - For mistaking 19 years old for 17 years old
• My college sweetheart - For them all
• My students - For failing to prepare you properly
• 1914 - For not speeding our cause on it's way
• The Cat Lady - For seeing you through the eyes of others
• Claude - For taking the coward's bait
• Nat - For overlooking you
• Denise - For getting your car towed, and for the airport
• Bruce - For making your problems my problems
• Troy - For not being your brother
  
• Floyd - For taking the easiest route
  
• The Kid I Pushed Away - For pushing you away

If I've allowed any misdeeds to go unmentioned it is only because I can't remember them at this time. If aging has one saving grace, it is forgetfulness.

Ray Nagin and the Art of Accountability Dodging

Yesterday, footage surfaced that clearly proves George W. Bush lied when he said, "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees," regarding the federal response to Hurricane Katrina. New Orleans mayor, Ray Nagin’s response was predictable, “It surprises me that if there was that kind of awareness, why was the response so slow?” In light of this latest development in the ongoing game of ‘Who-Was-The-Most-Incompetent’ Hot Potato, I thought it would be additionally illuminating to examine some of the information that Ray Nagin had at his disposal.

In September of 2004, Hurricane Ivan, one of the strongest and most costly hurricanes on record, slowly spun toward New Orleans after decimating the Caribbean. Fortunately for the Crescent City, Ivan changed it’s path and went on to wreak destruction in coastal cities in Alabama, Georgia, Florida and North and South Carolina.

Spurred by the near miss, Shirley Laska, a researcher for the Center for Hazards Assessment at the University of New Orleans, constructed a nightmare scenario that described what would have happened if Ivan had stayed on it’s original path and hit the Big Easy. Laska’s research paper, candidly entitled “What if Hurricane Ivan Had Not Missed New Orleans,” gave an honest, brutal assessment of the flooding, evacuation challenges and damage to New Orlean’s infrastructure that would have occurred had the massive storm struck. This paper was sent to the Nagin Administration and, one can only assume, given it’s “response” to Katrina, promptly dismissed.

Far be it from me to let Bush – who inexplicably appointed former Judges and Stewards Commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association, Michael Brown to head FEMA, and played the fiddle while New Orleans drowned, or FEMA itself for that matter – off of the hook. But I find it interesting that ol' Ray – the voice of Righteous Indignation during the Katrina disaster – continues to point the finger at Bush and FEMA and the state of Louisiana but refuses to take any blame for allowing New Orleans’s emergency evacuation plan to fall apart, stupidly bussing people to the Superdome, or ignoring the city’s impoverished communities and nursing homes altogether.

Like it or not, none of those things fall under the jurisdiction of FEMA, the State or the Fed. Those were CITY issues. Nagin is the mayor and he had several days advance warning that Katrina was on it’s way. It was his responsibility to act preventively on behalf of his constituency. To simply say that he failed in this would be to utter one of the most dramatic understatements in the history of the English language. Good ol' Ray should have the decency to take his place beside the oblivious Alfred E. Neumann look-a-like who runs the country, and his inept political appointee, in the hall of shame.