Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Day Twenty Five: Alms For the Well-To-Do


Some people at my job just don't seem to get it.

Or maybe I just don't get them. Perhaps that's it. It's just that they regularly, casually do things that I would never consider doing. Often, they even plan to do these things.

For example, a woman who works a couple of cubicles down from me started a monetary collection for a birthday gift for one of the directors. She suggested that everyone donate $20 so that we could present this director with a gift certificate for an overpriced massage package at one of her favorite spas. Needless to say, I had ALL kinds of problems with this.

Problem #1: Twenty dollars is a whole hell of a lot to ask of each person. You don't ask a group of people to contribute that much money per person unless you're collecting for a rent party.

Problem #2: I'm broke.

Problem #3: Even if I weren't broke, I can't imagine a scenario in which I would willfully part with a hard-earned $20 bill so that a woman who makes over three times my salary (and who, in my eyes, is primarily responsible for my being broke) can go get a glorified backrub.

Problem #4: The same chick who happily went around on the gimme for her boss routinely gives her other coworkers jack shit for their birthdays.

Problem #5: Not to be petty but I recall that my own glorious birthday, The Ides of July, came and went without my receiving so much as a Hallmark.

Problem #6: I'm not especially fond of this director. I guess I don't hate her. But if she were to somehow miraculou..um..spontaneously combust and I was holding a big ol' glass of water, I don't know that I wouldn't quench my thirst before I decided to douse the flames with whatever was left over.

Problem #7: As you may have already figured out, I'm fundamentally opposed to giving money to those who already have more than I. This is the opposite of charity, which I imagine might correctly be identified as stupidity.

Surprisingly, of the small group of employees who were solicited (about twelve of us) nine people ponied up the cash. I was not among them. At any rate, the Asskissing Nine, as I've come to call them, presented the director with a $180.00 gift certificate to the spa of her choice. I'm told that the director was appreciative, and has promised to feel genuinely sorry for them when she has to lay them off in about two months.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Day Nineteen: Training Day

"I'm not listening to a word this man is saying."

Peace,

I don't really have time to submit a proper post today. I'll be in training for the rest of the week and, on Friday, I have to take a test to prove to my supervisor that the money that she authorized to be spent on me was worth it.

BUT...I do have some good news. I have an interview Friday morning with a director who's interested in helping me get out of my current department before the layoffs hit. I'll keep you updated.

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Monday, November 17, 2008

Day Seventeen: Bad Moon Rising

"I asked for a day off. Not a lay off."


It's never a good sign when your boss feels the need to pull you aside and convince you that neither you nor your coworkers are in danger of being laid off.

Yesterday, my supervisor did just that. Why she singled me out I don't know. Perhaps she's mistaken me for the office gossip. What I do know is that the day before yesterday, the entire HR staff was told, at a Thanksgiving luncheon, that a person was being brought in to help us improve our processes and that this person was an expert in "organizational restructuring." This news, which, I guess took the place of some sort of company grace was followed up quickly with, "Alright. Let's eat!"

As you might imagine, everyone began worrying about their jobs. I, for one, saw signs of this happening. Our company has about five thousand employees with an HR staff of approximately 70. Frankly, our function is begging to be streamlined. I've actually mentioned this to a few of my coworkers in the past.

So now comes the wait. The hatchetman that they're bringing in starts the second week of December. Predictably, everyone is nervous. I imagine it'll be sort of like the movie Office Space, when the efficiency experts show up and meet with everyone to have them explain what they do with their time. Too bad my name's not Michael Bolton.

By the way, I'm still trying to locate a Human Resources law mandating that an employee has to endure a morning commute and work a full day before he or she gets fired. I, like many, would rather be terminated via telephone, from the comfort of my own home.

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Thursday, October 02, 2008

Blaxplanation Workplace Chronicles: Forming and Formalizing Alliances


In Favor of Black Upliftment (image by Karen Y. Buster)


For those of us who are diminished daily by the slings and arrows of the predominately white workplace, I’ve decided to begin documenting some of my job-related experiences. Like many of you, I could easily dedicate an entirely new blog to the five-day-a-week discriminatory spectacle to which I’m privy. Despite the well documented and oft-repeated progress we’ve made, many of us still have to sit idly by and watch whites hurdle effortlessly over obstacles that employers place in our paths to block our ascension. In any event, I’ll begin the inaugural “Blaxplanation Workplace Chronicles” by sharing the All Too True experiences of “Marcus,” a good, young brother with whom I work.

Marcus was viewed as an ambitious, talented “up and comer” within the walls of the healthcare organization for which I toil. Marcus was brought on board by one of the company’s Senior Vice Presidents (he’d had a position created for him, in fact) and soon won everyone over with his intelligence, charm, professionalism and eagerness to assist others with their projects. He’d been viewed so favorably, in fact, that his organizational benefactor, under pressure from workers who wondered aloud why there were so few African-Americans in management, saw fit to publicly hand-select him to become one of the darker faces of the organization. Seemingly, Marcus was being primed to eventually assume a leadership role in the company.

Alas, it was not to be. Despite Marcus’ desire to take on more responsibility, his supervisor repeatedly displayed a dogged unwillingness to develop him. Marcus’ fall from grace began shortly after he received an informal performance review from his supervisor in which he was generally lauded, but also accused of not being “engaged.” The plan was for Marcus to have only a short stint in his current position and then move to another part of the organization. Despite this, Marcus’ supervisor wanted him to plug in. Marcus, not yet familiar with BossSpeak – the ways in which a supervisor, in a seemingly non-threatening manner, informs an employee that he or she needs to correct something immediately, OR ELSE – simply viewed her comments as benign, constructive criticism. Upon hearing of this, I advised Marcus to fake it – send his boss work-related emails, in the evenings, from home and work the occasional Saturday. Although he was considerate enough to hear me out, and even willing to employ some of my strategies, he was also a straightforward person who was convinced that his work should speak for itself, and he should be above resorting to the kind of trickery that I’d suggested.

Shortly after his review, his manager, now inexplicably convinced that Marcus was unresponsive to her criticism, began to orchestrate his removal. Suddenly, she began to openly express fears that his work was suffering. Out of nowhere came concerns that his projects weren’t up to snuff. Then came the day when Marcus was called into her office only to find his manager and her supervisor, a director, waiting for him. Marcus was being written up - a write up that included such phrases as, “Perhaps I [the supervisor] overestimated your analytical ability.” Literally within a six week period, Marcus went from being the Golden Boy to the Whipping Boy in an organization that once valued him.

And where was his potential savior? Marcus’ SVP champion, the one who had brought him on board, promised to mentor him, and paraded him in front of the organization proved to be unwilling to help him. He allowed Marcus to flounder, displaying unusual anemia for someone in his lofty position. To be fair, this SVP has his own issues. He has his hands full maintaining the status quo. Despite enduring calls to increase diversity in management from all across the organization, he sends out defiant notices that no will be considered for a promotion based on his or her race (a bizarre and ignorant misinterpretation of equal opportunity employment law). As it turns out, he is one of those clueless whites who mistakes individual tokenism for widespread diversity (more on this situation in a later post).

Could Marcus have helped his situation? Certainly. His propensity for forthrightness not withstanding, he could have taken measures to protect himself, and project an image of company connectivity, even if he found it tedious and unnecessary. He also could have been more wary. Marcus belongs to a generation of young African-Americans who have naively bought into the idea that whites are of no danger to them. These young people, having been reared in a post-Civil Rights world in which they’ve always shared classrooms with whites, are not equipped with the self-protective distrust of white intentions that was necessary for their fore bearers’ survival. But, despite this, unfortunately for him, the die had been cast. He had been already been judged. Hence, Marcus was thrown to the wolves based on a single white manager’s perception of him.

Now to my point: Shortly after being hired, I reached out to Marcus on both the social (regularly scheduled lunches and frequent conversations) and professional level. To the best of my ability, I’ve also provided some degree of counseling/advice/commiseration to the brother. Up until now, this has been done in an informal manner. On many occasions, I’ll simply drop by Marcus’ cube and say, “Let’s walk and talk for a minute,” to let him know about things I’d been hearing, or to check on his status. These experiences have brought me to the conclusion that our people need to develop formal networks for dealing with workplace frustrations. I regret that Marcus and I weren’t a part of a larger effort to help black men and women navigate the treacherous waters of the workplace. Imagine a scenario in which Marcus, when confronted by the artifice of his supervisor, could immediately go to a group of seasoned brothers who could give him much better direction than I. I don’t want to give the impression that this experience has permanently harmed Marcus, far from it. I’ve told him honestly that I believe he has what it takes to run an organization like the one we work for, and with greater fairness and efficiency. I still believe this. But I can also easily envision someone being scarred by an experience like this. Not everyone has his determination.

There’s also one final thing to keep in mind: like it or not, to some extent, we’re all in Marcus’ shoes. Despite the fact that some of us are educated, experienced and older, all that separates many us from having our corporate dreams deferred is the whim of a white employer who never really had much use for us anyway.

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