Monday, January 28, 2008

Go To Hell, Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney: You're Still A Negro To Him

Television makes me angry.

These days, whenever the TV is on in my house, it's tuned in to Spongebob Squarepants or the surprisingly cool Backyardigans. Every now and again, however, I'm able to secretly escape the ghetto of children's programming and watch something (supposedly) for adults. Over the course of the last couple of weeks, I was able to watch three shows in their entirety - each of which made me angrier than the program that proceeded it.

The first program was aired on PBS. Usually, public television is a pretty safe bet. I decided to watch American Experience. This installment featured the despicable exploits of one Walter Freeman, the man who popularized the lobotomy. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't surprised at the horrific progression of events that lead a psychiatrist with no surgical training to become a celebrated butcher who routinely destroyed people's brains with a pair of ice picks. I was mortified by the none-too-subtle attempt, on the part of the narrator, to paint this man as a tragic hero. Apparently, although Freeman mutilated thousands of people, including children as young as four years old, and was kind enough to leave a (PLEASE don't access the following link if you do not wish to see disturbing evidence of Freeman's atrocities) photographic record of his crimes against humanity, his is a story of a decent man gone mad with power. As always, when biographers pull this kind of shit, I can't help but wonder if Freeman would get the kid gloves treatment if (here it comes) he were a black man. I'm sorry to have to say it but the only white man in history who seems to be off of white folks' redemption radar is Hitler (and even he has his sympathizers.)

The second program that pissed me off was none other than Real Time With Bill Maher. A bit of disclosure here: I can't stand Bill Maher. First, every single time I see his smug, self-satified, self-righteous face I imagine myself pushing my fist into it. Second, I can't get beyond the time I saw him shamelessly defile himself by flirting on-air with the disgusting, dude-faced Ann Coulter. Third, I can't appreciate the way he shits on people's faith. Only a true asshole would speak so dismissively, so often, of what other people hold dear. Finally, I'm convinced that he, and folks like him, are infinitely more comfortable casting aspersions at the clown currently residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue than they are addressing legitimate social injustice. At any rate, his guests were some random conservative, some self-avowed redneck and DL Hughley. The only times I could manage to distract myself from thoughts of pulling Maher's brain out through his nose were when the always entertaining Dan Savage showed up, and when the redneck, in response to the topic of beef cloning uttered, "When did cows stop fucking?"

Last and least was last night's 60 Minutes. Overall, it was a pretty good show. Of course, for dessert, the producers have tirelessly exhibited the need to serve up a heaping portion of shit pie by giving Andy Rooney undeserved airtime. If you think Flavor Flav is the worst thing on television, you get an 'F.' Among other things, I learned that Andy's family had a live-in maid during the Great Depression and Andy's not terribly worried about an economic downturn. According to him, "I don't know much about economics, but I don't believe we're in a recession, or a depression, whatever the difference is."

If any of you can name me ONE SINGLE INDIVIDUAL on the face of God's Green Earth who gets paid more for doing less, I'll forsake Obama and vote for you when the primaries come to Texas.



At 1:16 PM , Blogger decade number three said...

I think i'm going to have to throw Paris Hilton in the ring to answer that call/challenge. I don't think i can think of a more pointless person.

At 8:43 PM , Blogger Clifton said...

Paris Hilton is a good choice. I was going to go with Bill O'Reilly because he is not being real. At least Paris doesn't act like anything but a slut.

At 9:02 PM , Blogger Another Conflict Theorist said...


X#3: What's happening, Sis? Paris Hilton doesn't work, unless you call slutdom "work," so she doesn't really count.

Cliff: My Brother! See above. Also, Bill O'Reilly works very hard at lathering up the disgruntled white men among us.

At 5:42 PM , Blogger John said...

Kwame Brown of the LA Lakers gets paid $9 million+ per year. I'd say he's a good candidate for doing less and getting paid more for it than Rooney. Hahaha. Now, I'll be expecting you to cast you vote for me shortly. I've always wanted to be a write-in. Thank you.

Regarding your comments though. I never could stomach watching Rooney all the way through. The fact that his old, racist ass still has a job boggles my mind. I tell you what's truly worthless on T.V. as of late. The glut of "reality shows" kills me!

At 1:32 PM , Blogger BLESSD1 said...

Dang...Paris Hilton, Bill O'Reilly, Kwame Brown....all pretty worthless. I was gonna say Superhead. Your fame should not be attributed solely due to the trove of men you've bedded, but hey...I think that ALL of your suggestions surpass mine! Great post, ACT!

At 12:18 PM , Anonymous jali said...

I'd say those with the golden parachutes: multimillion dollar exit packages.

Please vote for Mr. Obama. I will!

At 12:32 PM , Blogger Breez said...

How about the Patriots offensive line? The Giants' defense was running up on Brady like he screwed their mamas.

And Blessd was cute for referring to what that chick did as "bedding." More like, "car front seating."

At 1:30 PM , Blogger Changeseeker said...

And THIS is why my television is only a DVD viewer (not hooked up to an antenna, a cable, or any other device that would connect it to the outside world). I get pissed off enough.

At 9:24 AM , Blogger Breez said...

ummm...i thought the writers' strike ended?

At 3:27 PM , Blogger Breez said..., for real. are you with jimmy hoffa?

At 10:18 AM , Blogger BLESSD1 said...

hey...a new blog would be nice....

At 9:44 AM , Blogger bint alshamsa said...

Where the hell are you at boy? You're harder to find than Bin Ladin these days!

At 7:03 PM , Anonymous G said...

If those people make you angry then you better place a parental lock FOX news channel.

At 8:30 AM , Blogger -=Topper=- said...

Paris Hilton is indeed a good call, any "professional celebrity" would be. They all make money doing "something" with no clue by us as to seeing what that is.

On Rooney this is classic...

"I don't know much about economics, but I don't believe we're in a recession, or a depression, whatever the difference is."

Classic neo-con that is. If it isn't happening to them, it isn't happening. If they are not effected by something, that something is not happening.

They live in a bubble, and they think in terms pf a shallow pond.


At 9:07 PM , Anonymous can-can said...

Andy Rooney has a daughter in Boston who host Greater Boston. The leaf didn't fall far from the tree. Although I like the show because of the other commentators - especially Callie Crossley - Emily Rooney is reactionary, elitist, and dismissive of people of color's concerns. She views the world from her rose-tinted glasses and claims a journalistic detachment when in fact she regularly disses people's concerns as though because she doesn't find x,y,z slanted or offensive or racist, it wasn't so.

At 5:02 AM , Blogger dennisg40 said...

Sorry I had to miss this forum for a year and ten months until I found it.

I concur with you absolutely. This man is absolutely worthless.

He is totally self absorbed and there is no earthly need for him doing anything except shutting up.


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